SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE: January 25, 2026 Edition

Contributing sentiments towards policy:

62% : Eighty percent of Somali immigrants in our state have successfully acquired federal welfare benefits.
59% : I have advised our immigrants to shelter in place until the ICE presence has abated.
58% : This report inspired ICE to schedule an enforcement raid.
58% : Having ICE assist by removing these foreign criminals benefits all law-abiding individuals.
51% : Ending ICE enforcement would be the Trump Administration's only sensible option.
48% : I'm confident that our colleagues in the Senate will filibuster this legislation and leave DHS unfunded unless money for ICE enforcement is taken out of it.
43% : " Walz argued that "this whole incident could've been avoided if ICE hadn't invaded our sanctuary state.
42% : These successes are all in danger of being lost unless ICE is driven out of our state.
41% : House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY) boasted "we allowed some of our vulnerable members to appear to be normal by agreeing to fund ICE so they can be reelected to their seats.
40% : We don't know or care why ICE wants to deport him.
40% : Enough states have blocked voter IDs to ensure this.
33% : This will make it easier for protesters to identify the vehicles they want to block or vandalize and make it harder for ICE to accomplish their their mission to arrest and deport people who they say are the worst of the worst illegal immigrants.
31% : ICE officers had an arrest warrant for Adrian Alexander Conejo Arias, an illegal alien from Ecuador and the little boy's father.
19% : Dems Assail ICE Detaining 5-Year Old Gov. Tim Walz (D-Minn) assailed ICE for detaining a 5-year-old child, saying "Minnesotans want safety.
19% : " Former Democrat presidential nominee Hillary Clinton, fresh from being held in contempt by a bipartisan vote in the US House of Representatives Oversight and Government Reform Committee for refusing to testify about Jeffrey Epstein's trafficking of under-age girls, criticized ICE, asserting that "enforcing the law is one thing.
7% : " Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-Minn) echoed Walz, claiming "the detention of a child proves that ICE's assertion they are seeking the worst of the worst immigrants is a lie.

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